…the who cares girl…

I finally completed “Hippie Dude”, mixed media on wood, 18 x 24″, 2010.

Now I just need the Boy to help me wire the back so it can be hung. It’s quite heavy. It was fun branching out from acrylic paints–thanks to this artist on deviantArt for inspiring me to return to Prismacolors. I’m not selling this one. It’s special.

The completed “Brigitte Bardot”, acrylic paint on canvas, 11 x 14″, 2010. Most of the time I don’t think my paintings need frames, but this one was definitely improved with the addition of a frame. I haven’t decided on whether or not I want to sell it.

Couch cub. It’s been rainy lately and I’ve had to wipe off wet dirty dog paws with the ShamWow the Boy purchased. Yes, he actually bought a ShamWow. He didn’t even know the story about the Shamwow guy. He bought it because my parents said ShamWows are helpful in dealing with filthy dogs–and they were right!

There was nothing extraordinary about the film “Funny People“, but I did like the Superman Jewish Star tee-shirt that Seth Rogen is wearing in this scene.

I also liked the blue jacket in this scene. I want to buy it for the Boy, but I don’t know who makes it, or how one would go about obtaining that information. That seems sleazy, like something out of that awful “In Style” magazine: “Hi! I would looove to know who makes the blue jacket in that scene in “Funny People“!” See? Sleazy. It’s probably too expensive for us anyway. The Internets have made me a cheap bastard.

I’m trying my best to convince the Boy to go to church this morning (without me) and then pick up donuts from the Korean deli on his way home. I felt chubby and guilty because I inhaled half a liter of ginger ale over the course of yesterday (what the fuck? I hate carbonated beverages!), but then I weighed myself this morning just for “fun” and according to the scale I’m still emaciated so that means DONUT TIME.

Today’s goals are to work on my novel and finish the “Harold and Maude” watercolor. Also to try not to get irritated by my husband, but I’m not making any promises. He wants me to watch some children’s film, “Up“, with him.

“It made me laugh and cry all in the first ten minutes!” he said.

“Are you on your period?” I scoffed.

The Bitch is Back! Oh that’s right she never left. Heh.

Recently I watched a very gay, very funny film called “Adam and Steve“.

From the very opening sequence of the film I knew I was in for something special!

Steve is a coked-out Dazzle Dancer at the beginning of the film, smothered in holographic glitter with Big Hair.

Adam is a Goth, and Parker Posey plays Rhonda, his fat fag haggy best friend. Normally in movies fat suits irritate me, but it’s Parker, she can do no wrong.

Adam and Rhonda stumble into Danceteria for Goth night. They realize they made a mistake, are disgusted and about to leave when Adam spots Steve dancing onstage and is awestruck.

Steve notices Adam ogling…

…and offers him a tantalizing preview.

Steve gives Adam coke for his first time, they go home together, something horribly embarrassing happens (I won’t give that away), and they don’t meet again for 17 years.

In that time, Adam has gone to rehab, Steve works as an outpatient psychiatrist at a hospital and Parker has lost weight but still tells fat jokes as a fat girl in her unsuccessful stand-up act.

Adam and Steve meet again when Adam accidentally stabs his dog (while slicing Polish sausage in bed) and rushes his dog to the hospital in his underwear.

The ever-annoying Chris Kattan plays Steve’s roommate Michael. Chris and Parker exchange some of the best zingers in the film.

It’s always nice to see Julie Hagarty. She plays Adam’s accident-prone mother.

And really, it wouldn’t be a gay classic if it didn’t have at least one drag queen in it, right?

Jackie Beat humping the microphone stand.

Here are some of my favorite lines from the film (there were several!):

Rhonda: (regarding Steve) Oh my God! He totally looks like the guy from the A-ha video!
Adam: Well he can take on me any time! Do you think he still has some cocaine?
Rhonda: Oh my God you’re like totally addicted after like one bump!
Adam: No I’m not! It was fun! It wasn’t like I thought it would be.
Rhonda: Well it gave me the total Hershey squirts. I hear they cut it with baby laxatives.
Adam: Well, you said you wanted to lose some weight!

Adam: I’m straight…sober.
Annoying younger gay guy: Really? Wow. I’d hate to be sober, that sucks ass. I don’t see why sober people still get to smoke. Nicotine is such a drug.
Adam: Yeah, but nicotine doesn’t make me wander through gay bars, pinching my nipples and moaning “Pick me, pick me” to hot guys.

Steve: Michael, you had sex with a homeless woman?
Michael: It was kind of sweet, actually. It’s not the way you make it sound.
Steve: (under breath) For God’s sake…
Michael: We…actually cuddled a lot. It was very intimate.
Steve: Yeah, well, she was probably cold.

Adam: Ugh, I’m never having sex again.
Steve: Oh, you’ll be fine. They really liked you!
Adam: As your dad was leaving he told me I was going to hell.
Steve: Yeah well, he only tries to save the people he likes!

Rhonda: Does anyone know what mothballs smell like?
Michael: Yes!
Rhonda: Oh really? How’d ya get ‘em to spread their little legs?

Steve: I don’t even know what I think of marriage anyway. Sometimes I think it’s a dying institution.
Rhonda: Well it is. And then you fall in love.

Adam: We’re in our 30s. Of course we’re damaged.

The ending of this movie made me tear up, because I am a sentimental gay, and of course I’m pro-marriage, I’m married for God’s sake, and of course I’m pro gay marriage. That’s all I’m gonna say! Watch this movie, it’s great!

Today’s goals are ART! ART! ART! And maybe 10 minutes of Pilates in a leotard. Or some kind of activity in a leotard. Shit, I just want to put on a leotard. Yeah!

This song reminds me of a girl in my high school drama class. She was a sophomore when I was a freshman. She was emaciated and wore huge bell bottomed pants and hung out with all the cool stoner guys that I wanted to hang out with but didn’t have the nerve. She had straight hair parted in the middle down to her waist. She folded her legs into pretzels in the auditorium seats and had long delicate fingers.

She “outed” my real age (13) to my 17-year-old boyfriend and he never spoke to me again. I couldn’t be mad at her though because in terms of style she had a massive influence on me. I wonder whatever happened to her.

It seems like I haven’t taken any self-portraits in a while.

I have to be in the right mood. Usually the sun needs to be shining.

Maggie’s been on top of me all morning. Does she sense that she’s coming to work with Mommy today? Yeah, riiight.

I’ve been engaging a 22-year-old Goth kid in conversation about films. We keep trying to one-up each other, or at least suggest movies that we haven’t seen already.

“Buffalo 66?” he asked me yesterday.

“Yeah,” I snorted. “Brown Bunny?”

“I own it,” he sniffed.

“Pervert!” I shouted. “Just kidding. Freeway 2, Confessions of a Trickbaby?”

“Ooooh!” he said, intrigued. “No! Suspiria?”

“Oh God, I hate Suspiria,” I groaned. “I wanted to like it, the Art Nouveau sets are beautiful, but the music is so cloying…”

“Goblin?” he shrieked. “They’re amazing!”

“Look, we’re just going to have to disagree on that one,” I told him. “I’ve given it two chances, I’m done.”

He thought for a moment. “Everyone I know is obsessed with Wes Anderson right now…”

“I’m obsessed with John Waters.”

“I love you!” he cried.

“I have his autograph,” I bragged.

“I went to his last two shows and shook his hand and hugged him!”

“Shut up!” I hollered. “God! John Waters is on my list of people I want to meet before I die! Or before he dies, cause you know, he smoked five packs of King Kools for decades…”

“John Waters will never die,” said the Goth kid. Suddenly his cell phone rang. He answered it: “I have to go…I’m talking to someone about John Waters right now.”

Ah, youth! He recommended “Trauma” to me, and I recommended “World’s Greatest Dad” to him. Hell, it’s not “Suspiria”, but it’s dark enough to please a Goth kid, what with the autoerotic asphyxiation and all.

Happy Friday, blog-logs!

Devo-2402, originally uploaded by Dave Matthews.

The Boy and I at “We Are Devo”.

Devo-2403, originally uploaded by Dave Matthews.

The Boy and I, at “We are Devo”. I love this one!

Devo-2670, originally uploaded by Dave Matthews.

Nico and his fiancee Rachel at “We are Devo”. Maw. Their children will be cu–uuute!

Devo-2705, originally uploaded by Dave Matthews.

Portrait by Dave Matthews of me at “We are Devo”. I look um, well, siiiiiiiigh*.

* I think I look bad, but I’ve been a complete control freak over pictures of myself my whole life. The Boy compared this photo to a Matisse portrait–it’s not particularly flattering, but it has a distinct style!

Devo-2702, originally uploaded by Dave Matthews.

Dave Matthews photographs me handing out my artist postcards to Juanita and Eric at the “We are Devo” party. I look 1000 years old. But good cheekbones!

Beck, originally uploaded by Chad Wadsworth.

Today I listened to “Mellow Gold” for the first time in years and I was walloped with a powerful rush of high school nostalgia. I could practically smell my high school boyfriend’s truck and I suddenly remembered those stupid flannel shirts he always wore that I hated (it was the 90s, eh).

According to my mother (who Googled him) he’s a D.A. now and I’m a weirdo now but we’re both married with two dogs. Flannel shirts are popular all over again, shit, gross.

I forgot how ridiculously good that album is.