…the who cares girl…

Well, this is it. After five long years of dreaming, scheming, reminiscing, sewing, and stockpiling sunglasses and goggles–I am finally GOING TO BURNING MAN!

Tomorrow!

Yaaaaahhhhhh!

Yesterday I was pleasantly surprised to see how well my costumes condensed into a large plastic tub, and how well my tights/socks/underwear/bikinis/shorts/scarves condensed into a bag that used to hold a down comforter. All week I’ve been having flashbacks about my ridiculous overpacking on our one-night camping trip this summer, but it appears, with the help of this friend, that we’ll be awwwwwrite.

I purchased two more memory cards for the camera, and until the Canon A610 goes bust, I will take as many pictures as possible. That’s right! I really hope my pathetic camera lasts the week, but for back-up we have disposables and a film camera.

So long, blog-logs! I’ll be back later with desert-parched skin and considerably less brain cells!

My last project–adding fur and a neon patch to this little backpack.

And rainbow straps, of course. I’d had that rainbow strapping for years, just WAITING for the right opportunity.

Ah gee, I love my husband, even if he can’t spell for shit. It used to bother me, but I’ve gotten over it. Anyway, in the grand scheme of things, is the ability to spell all that important? Of course not. Looooove, looooove, looove is what’s important. Anyway there’s always spell check!

I can’t believe I’m finished with all my sewing projects. I almost want to invent a couple new ones to tide me over for the next two days before we leave, but what? I have everything! I suppose I should start organizing things now–tights and stockings together, bikini tops together, wigs together, yaddy yadda. I have built up quite an impressive collection of bikini tops, although I was rather depressed the other day while perusing “D-listed” to see a photo of Britney Spears wearing one of the bikinis I possess. Drat! Oh well. Can’t be helped. “If it’s good enough for Britney…”

The 10 day forecast for Reno says something like: 95 96 95 95…fabulous. I may live in the misty green Northwest but I do love the dry heat of the desert…once in awhile. I would be quite happy retiring in Arizona, though I know it’ll never happen, because the Boy will never leave Washington. And that’s cool.

TWO MORE DAYS! TWO MORE DAYS! The excitement is palpable! Can you feeeeel it? Holy shit I can’t wait to go home.

Oooh la la. I bought these eyelashes at “Display and Costume” yesterday. Very few false eyelashes capture my attention now, because at this point I’ve pretty much collected them all, but these are so fabulous. And just picture them with this wig! Or even this one!

My bike basket. I finally finished watching every single season of “Project Runway” yesterday (sigh), so to tide me over while I work on creative projects in the living room I started watching “America’s Next Top Model” again, Cycle 11. What the hell. It’s hilarious, and even more hilarious are the recaps by this guy. I would highly recommend checking them out–Good Times.

True to my plan for yesterday, I wrapped my bike in neon pink glitter hoop tape. Yes!

I love it.

The Boy’s bike is finally complete. Not that it shows up in these photographs, but the entire bike is painted with holographic green/purple paint, then accented with stripes and skulls.

He’s a little obsessed with skulls.

I think it’s endearing.

Oh Lordy Lord, awake at 5:30 this morning, just like the “good old days”. Before I could think it through I popped 1/2 Xanax with the idear to go back to bed, but then I jumped on the ciggie-and-coffee express, so we’ll see how it pans out. I could always get back into bed with the Dracula book of the Boy’s I started reading last night, as my last Dean Koontz novel lasted me only two nights of reading. I’m a speed reader, and it’s kind of an inconvenience sometimes. If I haven’t made a trip to the library, that is.

Today the Broad and I are going shopping for Burning Man items like baby wipes, granola bars, batteries, blah blah blah. We’re also going to finish moving stuff out of her old apartment–she’ll be living with Cassie for the next month until she moves in with her new roommate, who I am dearly hoping isn’t cray-cray. No more cray-cray! We’ve reached our limit!

I think I’ve actually reached the end of my sewing projects, finally. Just a little children’s backpack that I bought at the thrift store for 99 cents that needs to be decorated a’la Liz (involving fake fur and neon colors), and putting some sequins on these boots, which just aren’t gaudy enough, really.

Bah! Burning Man is so close I can practically taste the playa dust!

Yesterday the Birthday Broad came over and I made her banana bread muffins with a schmear of whipped cream cheese as “frosting” and we watched a little stand-up comedy and then after the Boy got home from work we took her out for Thai food.

The birthday girl!

The birthday girl holds up her birthday gift, “What a Broad!” nailpolish from Sephora.

Rather than washing my hair, I just covered it up with this bandanna! See, problem solved. I know, I know, it’s gross, but hells bells, I should practice being a dirty hippie for next week. Next week I’m gonna be REAL dirty. Our camp has a shower but I’ll probably just end up using it once, if at all. Who can be bothered? We’ll have baby wipes!

Now, get ready for the white-trashiest photo ever uploaded to this blog:

…a picture of my leg in the tanning bed! Ah, ha ha ha! Note how the orange tones of my epidermis match the wall! Lovely, isn’t it?

And speaking of orange tones, I thought this dress by Korto was fabulous, but the judges didn’t share my opinion. Oh what the hell, we rarely agree. Although Michael Kors is currently showing a lot of neon for his Fall 2009 show, so we DO agree on SOMETHING, Michael Kors–neon is fabulous!

Today I need to go to “Display and Costume” for some bike lights, add pink glitter hoop tape to my bike, and decorate my bike basket. I spent hours yesterday working on a fluorescent faux fur dress that in the end, wasn’t working at all, so that was a waste of time, dammit. Oh well. Live and learn.

I think I may need to take a shower today. It’s getting a little ridiculous.

Yesterday I was a busy little beaver on the sewing machine, while semi-watching (mostly listening to) Project Runway Season 5 on Youtube. I don’t know what it is, but each season gets a little more boring to me. On this season I don’t even have a favorite. As a matter of fact, I don’t really give a shit who wins, as long as it’s not that bitchy Kenley. Ugh, God, she drives me nuts.

Anywhoooo…

I finished these pants for the Boy. Old man pajama bottoms that I added fur trim and star cut-outs of leopard-print fleece to. Gay, gay, gaaaaaaay. I love them.

I hemmed the silver pants, so they are finally complete. Nice facial expression!

I bought this tiny size XS vest at the thrift store for 4 dollars, brand “The Limited”, and added neon stars to it.

I think it’s cuter now.

The stars really “pop”.

Ah ha ha, here’s the Princess Leia “slave” costume I pulled out of the Trunk of Funk. Supposedly it’s also a size XS, but it fits me perfectly. It just smells a little musty. The Boy thinks I should spray it with Febreeze. In another week it’ll be covered in playa dust though, so who cares?

I have to drop my car off at Volkswagon today so they can give it a thorough inspection. I’ve been internally debating all morning (okay, all 30 minutes that I’ve been awake) on whether or not to take a shower. My hair has reached intense levels of greasiness, but do the men at Volkswagon care? Surely not. What about Corinne? Do I need to take a shower because it’s her birthday today? The longer I go without washing, the longer my “tan” stays on! Jesus, that’s gross.

I have purchased implements for banana bread muffins with whipped cream cheese frosting, but forgot to get grilled cheese sannie ingredients. Drat. Well, wait a minute. I have cheese, bread, margarine. I can make it work*. Hopefully she won’t NEED a grilled cheese sannie, hopefully that vodka in her freezer didn’t call to her too loudly, hopefully she won’t care if her best friend is an unwashed, dirty orange hippie? Yyyyyeah.

* Okay, I have definitely been watching WAY too much Project Runway if “make it work” is now finding its way into my blog entries.

I took this picture of Christy at Burning Man, 2003. I like this year’s theme of “Evolution”. I feel as though I’ve evolved quite a bit since 2003. In good ways.

As Little Edie says in “Grey Gardens”, “…things are getting bettuh!” Today I am feeling 78.6% more optimistic, and hell, I just woke up. With this song in my head.

Today’s goal is to complete a variety of sewing projects that I have been way too apathetic to work on the last couple of days. Projects include, but are not limited to:
- hemming the Boy’s silver raver pants
- completing Corinne’s purple raver pants
- adding fluorescent orange stars to some fur-trimmed pants of the Boy’s
- making a fluorescent yellow spandex bikini top (easy)
- making a shift dress out of fluorescent faux fur, AND
- decorating my bike basket (finally)

Last night at our final Burning Man meeting we all went down to the basement and dug through the “Trunk of Funk”–a massive trunk filled with every kind of obnoxious costume you could possibly imagine. I snagged an unopened Princess Leia “slave” costume (finally! The Boy’s nerd fantasies can come true!) and a somewhat bedraggled pair of blue fairy wings because well, you just never know.

Thank God my crappo mood has disappeared and I can focus on the POSITIVE again! Tomorrow is the Broad’s 30th birthday. She told me over the phone last night to forget the tea party idea (good–I wasn’t particularly excited about making a bunch of finger sandwiches anyway). She just wants to “hang out” and requested my banana bread muffins, with a schmear of whipped cream cheese for “frosting”, like I made last year on her birthday.

Now, last year she was hungover and vomited extravagantly all over the parking lot (after eating–of course!). Care to make bets, blog readers? Will the Broad be hungover this year? Maybe I should get some “emergency” grilled cheese sannie ingredients, just to be on the safe side. Mmmmm. Grilled cheeeeese.

double take, originally uploaded by …the who cares girl….

This morning over cigarettes I may have gloated just a smidge while telling the Boy about this morning’s dream, which involved me making out and then grinding on the floor with an imaginary male. I couldn’t stop smiling.

“Great,” he grunted. “That just means you’re unsatisfied.”

Apparently I have never learned, from previous relationships, that your significant other really doesn’t want to hear about your sexually charged dreams that don’t involve them. THEY DON’T. Note to self: just record them in the dream journal (don’t forget to illustrate!) and keep it to yourself!

Yesterday’s meh-mers manifested into a two hour nap on the couch and the snarfing of ice cream cake later on. Yes, ice cream cake. Yes, I’m clearly depressed. But who cares? I’ll just take Stacey Graham‘s comment advice and gobble some MDMA…soon. Very soon.

In the meantime, I’m going to blame recent viewing of “Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman“, Dean Koontz novels, and snarling animals for my depression. Yesterday while I was trying to be depressed on the couch the dogs growled and chewed on each other for at least 30 solid minutes. When I finally pulled out the camera to record, they were winding down, but I still captured a little of the “magic”. Maybe I’ll upload that “magic” later.

, originally uploaded by laura taylor..

Exciting phone call last night–we got the house! Hurray! Hurrah! No more having to play “mind games” ALL DAY LONG with whiny dogs begging to be taken outside! Now the little monsters can go outside any damn time they want, which is constantly, apparently. I am excited! Actually, I’m a little bloated (thanks, Mexican food for dinner last night), achy (stupid tooth), and tired (mer), but other than that, I’m excited.

I finished my uncle’s metallic blue floor-length hooded cloak yesterday, today I just need to go out and purchase some cording for the tie around the neck. Amazing that I don’t already have cording in my Box ‘o’ Trims, but that’s okay. What’s another trip to the fabric store? Nothin’.

Okay, so I am definitely suffering from yet another not-so-fabulous case of the Blues, and I don’t know why–what with Burning Man looming ahead in a week. Maybe it’s because I’ve anticipated it for SO LONG that now that it’s almost here, I’m over it? Maybe I need to do a little living room fashion show this weekend and get re-inspired? Maybe I need to put on a wig. That might do it.

IMG_0988a, originally uploaded by Kyle H Hailey.

Dear Blog,

You are boring me. ME! Your biggest fan! Please please be more interesting soon, or I will have to punish you. And YOU know what THAT means.

Love,
Liz

Retro Vintage Colorful Purple Shoes on Green Grass, originally uploaded by Pink Sherbet Photography.

I am 86.5% certain we found our house last night! Three bedrooms, with a huge backyard–1/2 an acre and all fenced in, with giant trees in the back. And a doggie door. Yes! The bedrooms aren’t huge, and I’m not very fond of the carpet, but we’ll just be renting for a year while we work on getting our credit up to par, so that’s okay. We put in our application and should hear back by tomorrow if we get it or not. Hooray! I had really really wanted to get a house lined up before we left for Burning Man, and now it appears my dream is coming true.

Ah yes, no more having to run outside 20 times a day to take whining dogs out to pee. Fetchy Fun Times can happen in my own backyard! And FINALLY I can realize yet another ongoing dream about having one of those giant hammocks in my backyard! Between trees!

I realize that having a house is a boring dream to some people, but to me–having a grassy backyard to loll around nude in and a giant extra room for all of my fabric (wait a minute, I have that now–never mind) AND an “office” which of course will later be turned into a “baby room” is ALL VERY EXCITING. I mean, other than being an artist and published author all I ever wanted to be when I grew up was a happily married woman. With a house.

Last night I decided it might be a good idea for me to get some “real” tans before Burning Man, and by “real” tans I mean the tanning bed, of course. So I just applied the money I had already paid the tanning salon toward Mystic Tans to the tanning bed and “tanned” for about 5 minutes last night, for the first time in over a decade. The entire time I was lying in the bed I felt guilty. I could almost feel the skin cancer forming. Oh well.

Today it’s back to the fabric store–I have completed one uncle’s “fish” tunic for Burning Man but the other uncle has requested a “floaty, shiny” cloak, so I have to purchase yards and yards of something for that. Luckily I have coupons. And a cloak pattern already. You just never know.