…the who cares girl…

Recently I spray painted some tortoiseshell (brown) sunglasses fluorescent pink and spackled them with rhinestones.

I have this embellishing glue that anchors rhinestones onto any surface, and it lasts foreeeever. Fuck the Bedazzler.

Okay, kind of ugly, but meh mer, it’s the thought that counts. Right? Um…right?

Other creative project: cutting stars out of hoop tape and gluing them onto these platforms I recently purchased. “They won’t stay on,” says the Boy, and he’s probably right.

I uploaded some photos from last week, when Corinne came over:

Maggie and Molly chewing on each other, on top of Corinne. I cropped Corinne’s head out because…well, in this instance, she would want me to. Unflattering angle. I don’t post unflattering photos of friends! That’s not nice!

Maggie and Molly really getting into it! Corinne’s paw is visible, too.

Awwww. Ha ha, look at Molly’s face.

We watched “The People Versus Larry Flynt”, courtesy of Netflix Instant movies. Later on we also watched “Little Shop of Horrors“, Corinne’s first time! That girl really needs to watch more movies. WITH ME.

I broke out “Harry’s Filters” for the rest of the photos:

Corinne took this.

Corinne took this also. That romper really is unflattering. It completely removes my waist. Oh well, it has sequins.

Cuuute!

The Boy now has Sundays off from work, so he can go to church. I won’t be joining him–we went a couple of times last year so that the pastor would agree to do our wedding ceremony. That was enough for me, for a while. Every time I go to church I feel like I’m 5 years old again–I either fall asleep or find it impossible to pay attention–my mind wanders like crazy. Last year I actually had a panic attack at church.

“Could it be…Satan?” my mother joked when I reminded her of this recently.

No shit. Like that scene in “The Omen” where Damien starts freaking out, throwing a tantrum on his way to church? I feel like that. Satan, A.D.D., never enjoying church growing up, call it what you like, I’m not going. So there, Pierre.

Later today we are going to the giant thrift store across the street to check out bikes for Burning Man. Well, bikes for the Boy and Corinne, anyway. I’m just going to take my bike–hell, it’s already decorated. Except for the bike basket–all the green paint washed off in the rain, so I’ll need to spray paint it and cover it with fur/fake flowers or something. Good times.

Update: in the time it took me to type this blog entry, the Boy decided to go down to the pool and go swimming instead of going to church.

Yellow, originally uploaded by RedHead66.

it was all yellow

Messing around with “Harry’s Filters” again. I haven’t had a professional haircut in months, and I quit trimming my bangs last month.

This is my second attempt to paint this photo, and I wish I could say that it’s going easier this time, but it’s not. Why is painting this photo so difficult? Is it because it’s a photo of myself? I don’t like painting self-portraits, but this one is really difficult.

I started running “Harry’s Filters” on the painting, just to get a different perspective, to see if perhaps I could get re-inspired.

Nope, nadda. I hate it. HATE IT! Time to move on. So I started another painting yesterday afternoon while listening to season 4 of “Columbo” (I love “Columbo”). And guess what? It’s based off of another photo of me! Yet…I’m still optimistic!

Tonight we are going to a house party, held by one of the Boy’s co-workers. She is Indian, and has promised lots of Indian foodstuffs, so I am greatly excited. I LOVE INDIAN FOOD. I REALLY, REALLY DO.

In preparation for the party, I went out last night and got a chemical tan. I actually said, “I want Level 3 this time–Level 2 isn’t dark enough.” I want to look as though I’ve spent the last month on a tropical island, rather than on my back porch.

Although my back porch is pretty fantastic. Between 3 and 4:30 there is a rectangle of sunshine just big enough for me and my lounge chair. I was sitting on the back porch yesterday, painting my toenails, and thinking to myself, you know, it really doesn’t get much better than this. Working part-time, with all the time in the world for painting, sunning, sewing, and playing outside with the dogs. I don’t have a thing to complain about. Not a thing.

OH MY GOD. My dreams of owning a flowered swim cap are finally coming true! IN NEON! And for only 14.99! I love the Internets.

Good morning.

Grrrr.

Last night the Boy finished watching “Every Which Way but Loose“, which answered my question about how a photo of Ruth Gordon talking to a monkey wound up on my camera. Ruth Gordon is the only redeeming quality to this film (unless you find monkeys “charming”, which I don’t). She screams, curses wildly, and whips out a shotgun at one point to shoo bikers off her front lawn.

Gotta love Ruth.

Despite four ongoing projects (two paintings, covering a pair of platform sandals with holographic stars and smothering a pair of sunglasses with rhinestones) I somehow feel…uninspired. Which is a cryin’ shame. Perhaps I need another painting project. Once I become creatively stifled, it’s best to back away from the current project, put it down, don’t look at it for a while. Who would have ever imagined I’d get stuck painting Edie Sedgwick? Lord.

The Boy wants to go to this Jim Henson exhibit at the EMP. Sounds good to me. Who doesn’t love Jim Henson? “visitors will be able to perform the puppets singing the following songs in the hands-on puppet theater…” Yes please! I love puppets. The Boy and I went to the Bellevue Arts Museum last year and I whined in the gift shop because he wouldn’t let me buy a shark hand puppet. I LOVE HAND PUPPETS.

Today’s goal is to find a new Creative Focus!!! And to drink coffee until I sweat! And to paint my toenails. AND to spray paint SOMETHING with that can of fluorescent yellow paint that has been beckoning to me ever since I purchased it from Michaels. I should make some funky stencils, of Divine or platform shoes or something. Hmmm.

I ordered this cheap-o rainbow bikini recently. The top fits fine, but the bottom is cut so tiny it’s really quite obscene. It barely covers…anything at all. The Boy liked it, though. A LOT.

I also ordered these cheap-o neon green thongs, since I’m All About Neon this year. And speaking of All About Neon, look at what I found! Ooh la la! I’m highly tempted to order myself that fluorescent green Adidas jacket!

Mumsie and Daddums are having a little marital spat currently. Mumsie sighed yesterday on the phone, “I hope Josh always treats you right.”

“He does! He does! He never makes me feel fat or stupid. He’s always nice!”

He is always nice. Even when I’m not nice (which is frequently). I found a good one! Nice men do exist! He also doesn’t make fun of me when I put on a wig and false eyelashes and 3.2 pounds of glitter and take pictures of myself, which is important. And one time I came home and he was in drag! The way to my heart, you know, is a daring application of green eyeshadow. Especially on a man.

Today’s goal is to return the way-too-tight Under Armour shirt I recently bought for the Boy (talk about sexy–those Under Armour compression shirts) in a medium–medium is so tight, his chest hair shows through–yikes.

“Harry’s Filters“–the coolest/easiest photo effects plug-in ever (thanks, Stacey Graham), strikes again! I am wearing a silver sequin beret that I bought at “Red Light” in this photo (yesterday the song “Raspberry Beret” was in my head all day long).

I don’t know about berets–are they a little too, hmmm, Sam Kinison, maybe? I watched a biography about Sam Kinison recently and it was SO GOOD–did you know Sam was a Pentacostal preacher? I didn’t. Actually, I didn’t know anything about Sam Kinison–I had never even seen a stand-up of his, I only remember him mocked on “In Living Color”, which I used to watch obsessively. He reminds me a smidge of Bill Hicks, only…louder. Anyway, good biography, kind of sad.

Decorated Bra Number 2. Corinne was pretty excited when she saw this one. I’m debating on whether or not to add more flowers, and whether or not to glue something in the center of each flower. BURNING QUESTIONS.

All the snarling and growling happening three feet behind me is making it difficult to focus on the typing of this blog entry! What will happen when I have a screaming baby, eh? Already I have fear that I won’t be able/want to paint anymore after I have children, part of the reason I’m painting with such…fervor. Maybe. Oh, part of that fervor also comes from guilt, like “I guess since I’m not working full time I should be painting EVERY DAY”…guilt is such a rich part of my personality, Jesus. Where does it come from?*

Today’s goals are to beat the dogs into submission and even out the streaky sunless tan on my shins. That’s all.

* Here, mostly. Love youuuuu!

This photo of Ruth Gordon conversing with a monkey inexplicably appeared on my camera. I wonder what the Boy was watching? I do love Ruth Gordon! “I like to watch things grow…”

I have been working on this Edie painting foreverrrrr…I have high hopes, and I want it to turn out just right. And by just right, I mean AWESOME.

This is a fairly common sight around here. The Boy rigged up this cut-out box with a glass panel so he can read books and not strain his neck. I know, SEXY. It’s interesting living with someone who spends 75% of his time at home stretching/icing/heating/rolling (I mean using a rolling pin, not the FUN kind) his body. Interesting. Well, at least if/when something goes wrong with my fabulous body, like I pull a muscle, he can give me advice!

I never get tired of taking photos of my feet. Nope, not at all. Especially when I’ve painted my toenails.

I’m back from work at the Sad Place already–and it turns out they don’t need me tomorrow. One day of work! One day! Now that I’m complaining, watch–next week I’ll be so flooded with work I won’t know what to do with myself.

In the meantime, I am enjoying this time off! Yes! I just took 1/4 of an Adderall, and now I’m going to bop on over to the apartment gym and shake it around with a fresh “Elle” magazine, with the completely overrated Megan Fox on the cover! Can she act? NO! Does anyone care? NO!

And speaking of bad acting, I just watched 50% of “Even Cowgirls Get the Blues” (again), one of my most favorite books of all time made into a shite movie starring Uma Thurman, another pretty face who cannot act, just like Megan Fox, good Lord. I can’t even remember what I saw Megan Fox in, I just remember after all the hype and seeing her plastered all over the gossip rags I was shocked and horrified by her wooden performance. What was it? Hmph. Who cares.

PrideParade2009_321, originally uploaded by tennis1player1.

The weather is crap outside, so I’m taking my time getting off to work this morning. No need to rush. Drinking coffee, eating oatmeal, taking the rotten animals outside…

I’m a little angry at them right now. Every attempt to sleep in this morning was foiled by BARK BARK BARK at EVERY fucking sound outside. I blame the pair of chihuahuas across the hall that bark like maniacs, all day long, for giving my dogs bad ideas. I even gave Season 1 of “The Dog Whisperer” to the chihuahua owners to borrow, so that maybe they would figure out how to train their horrid rat dogs not to bark all day, but noooooo.

Well, I’m just going to have to accentuate the positive. Like, oatmeal with raisins and glazed walnuts certainly is delicious. And ahhh…I only have three patients at the Sad Place today? Thank the Lord.

Seattle Pride Parade ~ 2008, originally uploaded by Elisa Sherman | emswazzu.com.

That’s it, we’re going to Seattle Pride this year.

June 28th, 2009! Woot!