…the who cares girl…

Everyone knows how crazy I am about glory holes. So crazy in fact, I devised a Portable Glory Hole idea the other day. Look how easy it is!

First obtain your wood–plywood, that is! A local hardware store is sure to have it.

Then you’ll probably want to paint the plywood…

…or even wallpaper will do. I imagine something Victorian, maybe flocked.

Add your hole, and voila! Fun! Fun! Fun!*

* The Boy strongly discouraged me from posting this entry, but that didn’t stop me!

One of the many (thousands) of videos by Nelson Sullivan, who I am still a little obsessed with. He fascinates me. Especially the haunting video he made the day before he died of a heart attack, where he muses that it’s his “last day”. What the hell? How did he know? Freaky.

CONCIERTO RICKY MARTIN EN BURGOS, originally uploaded by NACHO CUBERO.

…is gay. And?

Because I am a gay man, I was raised on Barbra Streisand and Bette Midler movies. I was particularly obsessed with “Funny Girl“, because Barbra has the best costumes and of course the songs are great. “Funny Girl” recently appeared in our Netflix Instant queue and the Boy informed me that he had never seen it. I was a little apprehensive about watching it again, after so many years–what if I hated it? After all, I re-watched “Funny Face” a year or so ago, and it made me nauseous.

Verdict: still good! Costumes: still inspirational! Phew.

I love that green old-fashioned bathing suit.

All of Bab’s costumes in this film are fabbuu, but I was too busy feverishly putting together a puzzle while we were watching it to take decent photos. I distinctly remembered there was an outfit in the film that incorporated both grapes and roller skates…

…and there it was. Terrible photo, but the important thing to remember is that the dress has glittery straps, clusters of grapes, a velvet bustier and a flouncy tulle skirt and she’s wearing bright green tights underneath. Talk about the perfect Liz outfit. I love roller skates too.

Several of her dresses in the film are dripping with crystals and have an Empire waist (I love Empire waist–just not on me, it makes me look pregnant), flowing chiffon and even cloche hats, shit, maybe I’ll have to watch it again and just take photos for my Inspiration Notebook (s).

I’ve also been watching older Brian De Palma films lately. His films are…unsettling.

Something about the smell of my oatmeal in the morning must cue Maggie that it’s time for her to lick her anus. It really shouldn’t bother me anymore, and yet, just like the horrible sounds my husband emits when he’s eating cold cereal, it prompts me to make disgusting slurping noises right back at them to point out how revolting they are. Yes, I’m on my period, that’s right, and?

At work recently a heated conversation about Lady Gaga turned into an exciting conversation about drag queens, which led to my discovery of this.

OH MY GOD! An entire night devoted to “RuPaul’s Drag Race“, currently my favorite show in the whole wide world??? Not only that, but watching “Drag Race” with real life drag queens, instead of with my dogs??? I HAVE TO GO. Never mind the drinking, I need drag queens like my parents need Fox News: fervently, obsessively.

I have a co-worker who is obsessed with drag queens too. I introduced her to “Drag Race”, and now we discuss the episodes every week. We’ve been talking about going out to some sort of drag night for ages and now this: the perfect opportunity. She asked if I wanted to go this upcoming Monday.

“Too soon,” I told her. “I need time to plan just the right outfit, and wig…”

“Wig!” she laughed (she doesn’t know me very well).

“Well, of course!” I shouted happily. “We have to do it up right!”

She chuckled. “You’ll have to help me out in the wig department…”

“You need some wig therapy? No problem.”

“Wig therapy“? Sweet Jesus, I’ve really hit on something. Maybe I should make up some business cards.

hibiscus with grapes, originally uploaded by …the who cares girl….

The Boy is watching some Australian skateboarding film, and one of the characters just said, “You’ve gone totally hibiscus!”

Is it POSSIBLE that’s a reference to the leader of the Cockettes, and the inspiration for one of my gayest paintings??? (I doubt it, but you never know) (look at how progressive “The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert” was)

I could be exaggerating slightly but I’m pretty sure yesterday I puzzled for five consecutive hours (thanks, Adderall). I paused momentarily to shove some dinner into my maw and of course I had to get up to refill my ginger ale glass and pee but I was a woman possessed. The Boy put on some porn (redtube)* to “inspire” me away from the puzzle but the slurping sounds and high-pitched squeals of artificial orgasmic delight just made me snicker.

The “good” news is that I finished that puzzle, so now I’m taking a little break. Because I can feel it coming, the obsession. I can feel it coming and completely dominating my free time, so that instead of painting or sewing or editing my stupid novel I’m hunched over a puzzle for hours a day. Well, NOT THIS TIME! I refuse to let puzzles take over my life! I’m not purchasing any more…for at least…a week. Take that, obsessive personality!

* After a few minutes of redtube he put on the film “Jarhead”, which to me was brimming with homoeroticism.

“Any minute now, there’s gonna be penetration,” I told the Boy excitedly.

“There’s something wrong with you!” he said.

Hot man-on-man lovins never happened, although the main character does mention masturbation a few times (I yelled, “See?” at the Boy). Any movie can be gay when you look at it with the right set of eyes. Or maybe I’ve just been watching too much LOGO.

boom headdress, originally uploaded by …the who cares girl….

…I bought “Boom!“, from Amazon, JUST NOW…for 20 bucks. I’ve been waiting years for the price to go below 100 bucks, OH MY GOD after all the years of waiting for the fucking Criterion Collection or somebody to release it on DVD I’ve given up and I’m going to watch it for the first time on VHS, who gives a shit, I CAN’T WAIT!

Now I need to make a special “Boom!” headdress for the occasion!!!

Recently purchased “Children’s Writer’s & Illustrator’s Market”, the 2010 edition. It’s filled with helpful articles, including a special article on writing for the “GLBTQ” community.

“Q?” I said to the Boy. “What the hell is “Q”? Queer?”

Wrong! The “Q” stands for questioning! Questioning? When did that start appearing after GLBT, and why didn’t I get the memo? What’s next? “S” for slutty? What about “D” for drag-friendly? I like that one.

I don’t know where this came from, but I like it. Strange things just appear in my “saved pictures” file, and every so often I look through it and transfer files over to Flickr. Problem is, by the time I do that I’ve forgotten where I found the picture, or forgot the credits.

When I first joined Flickr I transferred over a huge number of photos from my personal “inspiration file“, but didn’t include the credits, and once in a while someone will ask me who the photographer is and I say “Uhhhhh…”. I started putting a disclaimer under the inspiration photos: “Photo by not me“, in case anyone is confused.

Just for “fun” I looked to see what photos of mine were the most “popular” on Flickr, and some photos of “The Girls Next Door” showed up, from the winter of 2008 when I was obsessed with that show (shame). So I just deleted them. That’s totally embarrassing, I mean, my most popular photos should be pictures of MY ass, not someone else’s! So there.

The Boy is away this weekend to the annual family ski trip that I never attend. Every year it’s the same, I decline, they say, “Well, you don’t have to ski, you can just come up and sit in the cabin!” Why does that sound appealing? Talk about claustrophobia, no thank you. I’ll just stay here with my dogs and my puzzles and my in-desperate-need-of-heavy-revision novel, I’ll be fine, thanks.

One Half Nelson, Demon, Madman, or Alien? At the F Word, originally uploaded by Gerry Visco.

Quiz to test your gay knowledge, via “World of Wonder“.

(guess who got 100%?)